The pairs worth a rule
A rule says two people will not draw each other, in either direction. Most groups need two or three. Here are the ones that earn their place.
- Couples and family. They buy for each other anyway. Drawing each other wastes the slot and makes the exchange smaller.
- A manager and a direct report. In either direction the gift carries weight it should not. Keep them apart and nobody has to think about it.
- Last year’s pair. If the same two people drew each other in 2025, it feels less like chance in 2026.
- Two people who are not speaking. You know who they are. Add the rule quietly and never mention it.
Add rules before the draw, and don't announce them
Rules go in before you draw, because a draw that ignored them cannot be fixed without redrawing everyone. Add them when you set up the exchange, in the same sitting as the budget and the date.
Do not list the rules to the group. "Sam and Alex won't draw each other" invites a conversation about why. The people in a rule usually know, and the rest of the group does not need to. The only rule worth saying out loud is the general one, if you use it: couples don't draw each other.
When rules make a draw impossible
Three people and one rule is fine. Three people and two rules may leave one person with nobody they are allowed to draw. The same thing happens in bigger groups with department rules. A rule that says people draw only within their own department fails the moment a department has one person, because they would have to draw themselves. A rule that says people draw only across departments fails when one department is more than half the group, because there are not enough outsiders to go round.
Check the rules against the roster before the draw. A good tool refuses to draw and tells you which rule is the problem. If you are drawing by hand, the honest answer is that you will not notice until the draw fails, so keep the rules few.
The rule you should not add
"Nobody from my team draws me." The organiser adding rules about themself is the one case where the group will feel it. If you have a reason, treat it as any other rule and keep it to one. If you do not, let the draw be a draw.
The same goes for stacking rules to engineer a result. Four rules that together force Sam to draw Alex are not rules, they are a decision, and the exchange is better without it.